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Ok girls!!!!

October 17, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments


I’ve always been amazed by teenage/20-something girls ability coordinate a complicated pose on the spot.  It’s almost as if high schools offer some class in picture-arranging that was miraculously kept a secret.  I could not tell you how many times I’ve seen groups of girls – sometimes as large as two dozen – pop into prime picture taking position within two minutes.  Not only is the mere feat outrageous, but it also begs the question of why you would need such a picture taken in that moment.  There are really not many occasions that call for a group photo.  Holidays, graduations, team victories, reunions, family events; these are clearly situations that mandate such an arrangement.  Why girls feel the need to create these photo ops at every house party is completely beyond me.  There’s nothing to see.  After how many completely identical photos will all you American girls be content?  It astounds, and quite frankly, bothers me.

Like Ugg boots, this troubling trend is just one of those things that irks me because it seems so totally superfluous.  Girls, when you’re perusing the facebook to relive all the good times, can you even tell the difference between one posed photo and the next?  None of these parties are discernably or exotically varied, so can you take a gander and say to yourelf, “Oh yea, that was Steve’s party!”  No way.  In reality, you say “Wait, was this Steve’s or Mark’s?  No no no no no, this had to have been when Tom brought us all to Sig Ep.  Right?”  So if all the poses are the same, and all the parties are the same, why even bother?

Can any of you envision men (or dudes, I should say) getting into this kind of thing?  The mental picture is like ippecac for the brain.  It’s so totally ridiculous that it needs to expelled immediately.  So let’s say, for a second, that group poses are a hot party trick for young guys: how do you decide who bends over, literally, to fill up the front row?  Let’s talk about that bending over for a second, because it’s really the aspect of the pose that I find most fascinating.  Seriously, how do girls decide who takes the front row?  And when did all teenage girls perfect the art of the hands on the knees squat?  That squat, by the way, has to be the most feminine position any human could position themselves in.

Anyway, I’ve ranted enough, and it’s been really good for me.  As you can tell, the learned poses freak me out in a big way.

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